I’m curled up on the couch with a bowl of oatmeal and a strong cup of black coffee meditating on my last day of my working season and reminiscing over the last 7 months.  Normally I’m in Paris this time of year–sleeping in until noon, then making my own crepes for “breakfast”, then hitting up a cafe to read, write, ponder, rest.  It sounds romantic and refreshing, no?  It is incredibly romantic and refreshing and I’m mourning that I’m m not there this season.  But I have a little monkey inside of me that is due on January 18th and they won’t let me fly.  So, I’ve been working instead—working hard.  7 or 8 shoots a week–30 plus weddings–sometimes back to back  on the weekends, post-production, premieres, blogging, meeting with future clients, etc, etc.  I’m tired.  But even more than tired, I’m simply ready to bring Paris here to to be really present for the first time this entire pregnancy.   Something has fundamentally changed in my heart and spirit over the last few months.  Being able to feel this little girl inside me kick like a little field goal kicker, hiccup 4 times a day, turn from breech to normal, breech to normal… I’m falling in love.  I never thought this would happen to me.  I’ve never really wanted to have children and while I love working with them, have never really thought about the real miracle of life.  I’m such a student of the human condition—I love people’s personalities–quirks, moods, remarkable traits, etc.  And being pregnant has brought me even deeper into the wonder of the human psyche.  What will my little girl be like?  Will she be wild?  Shy?  Will she be grumpy in the morning or chirp independently?  Will she love to travel like her mama  or will she be a philosopher and truth seeker like her Dad?  It doesn’t really matter to me as long as she is healthy.  And I want to foster whatever spirit she might have–even if it looks nothing like mine.  My one true wish for her is to be wild and free like children should be.  I want to give her a safe, loving environment where she can dress however she likes and color on the walls….

So I’m officially taking maternity leave this weekend.  No more shoots until I feel ready–which will most likely be months after this monkey arrives.  This is my sabbatical–though it’s not in Paris, but on my living room couch.  I want to be present during this amazing time in my life.  I want to gear up to be a good mama and also an amazing artist.  I want to laugh at the changes that are happening with my body and embrace my new outlook on life artistically.  I want to blog because I want to blog again. I have about 30 weddings from this past summer that haven’t been blogged.  I want to have the time to really reflect on those weddings and post them with my heart and because I want to–not because I should.  Alex and Matt, Megan and Dylan, Lee Lee and Michael—you guys are first on my list.  I’ve truly had the most incredible last 7 mind-blowing months.  I’m going to revel in this time and stay in touch right here on my blog.  Please stay tuned.  My adventures, I believe are just beginning….

Photo above by Paige Elizabeth