Photography Blog | The Life and Times of Julie Harris Photo Blog | Photography Blogs. Welcome! This is where I show my work and write about what stirs me. Mary Ellen Mark says, "Reality is always extraordinary". I live by this. I'm a documentary photographer with a thirst for love, life and truth... a true bohemian at heart. In an industry saturated with trendy processing techniques and emphasis on style instead of substance, I strive to make honest images that are full of emotion and reality. Please visit and comment often!
I have learned a very important first lesson in parenting… We have very little control.
I became a mama about 2 months into my pregnancy. I was in denial the first month and had no real connection to the little sprout in my womb, but something happened after I heard Ramona’s heartbeat. She became real and I started to believe that this pregnancy, although somewhat of a shock, was probably meant to be. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect, and honestly if Jesse and I were to ever have children it probably needed to happen sooner rather than later. Unfortunately, we women do have a shelf life when it comes to fertility. I hate that.
I immediately started reading voraciously about what would now be the new direction of my life and quickly became a little obsessed with natural childbirth. It has always seemed so beautiful to me–so natural and perfect and empowering. I’ve photographed it, heard about it, and was now reading hundreds of positive birth stories from Ina May’s “Guide to Childbirth”. After weighing all the pros, cons, benefits and risks of a natural childbirth vs. a medically monitored birth in a hospital, Jesse and I decided to use the Mountain Midwifery. We would stay out of the hospital completely, go drug free and I would be empowered and experience that amazing rite of passage for women. I was excited–and maybe even a bit self-righteous about our choice.
I woke up Monday morning, January 23rd at 7:30 and rolled over in bed to tell Jesse, “Today was the day”. I was having contractions–real contractions. I called my mom, who would be my doula and Caitlin, who would photograph the birth and gave them a heads up that it was “on”.
I loved early labor. It hurt a little, but I felt euphoric. We took walks into the early hours of Tuesday morning, watched a little Louis C.K. and waited for my contractions to get to 3 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute long. I should have slept for a few of those hours and would have, had I know I had another 24 hours of grueling labor ahead of me. By Tuesday afternoon, my contractions came on strong. They were 4 minutes apart and very painful. I was in active labor–and guess what, it was rush hour, and to get to the mountain midwifery we had to drive I-25 to Santa Fe–pretty much the worst two roads at rush hour. This is when all of our “birth plans” went terribly awry.
I won’t get into the hairy details, but I basically labored at the Mountain midwifery for 10 hours—in the water, out of the water, on all 4′s, in a birth sling, on a birth ball, sitting over the toilet backwards, and every other imaginable position. But my body never went into full labor. My contractions were so horrifically painful, and I was so tired that I actually lost time. I asked my mom later if I passed out because I don’t remember a thing about the last 4 hours of the delivery. My body went into a state of shock and I left it. Our midwife decided that we need to go to the hospital to deliver this baby, and at that point I was relieved. I actually thought I might die. The hospital was everything I didn’t want. Every single thing that I hoped to bypass medically, was used. Pitocin, epidural, internal fetal monitor, and then ultimately a C-section (which I will now call a cesarean birth). My little Ramona was showing signs of distress, so thank God the Dr.s called for a cesarean birth. She came out surgically with the cord wrapped around her neck three times and laboring to breath. I knew she was a little acrobat in my tummy!
Ramona came into this world Wednesday morning, January 25th at 7:30am (48 hours after my contractions started) weighing 6.10 and measuring 19 inches long. She’s a peanut.
Today, I am grateful for my journey to get her into the world. I am grateful for the choices I made, the things I learned, the people I met, the Mountain midwifery, and I’m even thankful for surgery. I’m thankful for the epidural. Very thankful! I’m thankful for my precious baby girl, my darling husband and my amazing mother who both coached me and cheered me through the entire 36 hours of intense natural labor, and then held my hand through surgery. But I did learn that when push comes to shove (literally), we really don’t have control. My Ramona was trying to tell me that she wouldn’t come out that way–that if she had, it could have strangled her. I learned that as much as I prayed that my milk would come in, the trauma to my body and the need to heal from surgery would make this difficult… and these are all just the beginnings of the great journey of parenthood. I need to let go, buckle up and enjoy the wild ride. Welcome to Motherhood, Julie… the adventure of my lifetime thus far. And the most beautiful one at that. For I am truly in love with my Ramona Moon….
My heartfelt thanks to my dear friends who provided some of the following photos… Caitlin Rose and Paige Elizabeth.
It hasn’t even been a week since my last day in Mississippi and yet I already feel like it was a lifetime ago. It took me this long to even begin to process all that I learned and took from the workshop with David, and I’m still trying to revel in the afterglow. Above all, my week in the Delta was a much needed immersion back into photography. PHOTOGRAPHY. My passion. My craft. My life. My heart. Photography. To take a break from talking business models and pricing guides and lightroom “workflow”to spend a week truly pursuing the craft of photography was one of the most exhilarating and affirming moments of my so-called “career”. I was photographing with 19 other seriously incredible photographers and being critiqued by them daily. I was pushed. I was humbled. I was insanely inspired. I can’t say that I’m a better photographer since the workshop. But I can say that I have a greater sense of confidence in my voice and in the images that I make and will continue to make in my normal day to day life. To be affirmed by true documentary photographers and artists that I don’t have to use pocket wizards to make a great image, or that things don’t have to be tack sharp or “color corrected” to be compelling, was revolutionary. Simply put, after a serious “identity” crisis, I have come to realize that I need to let go, have fun and make images again.
The workshop was supposed to be a technical lighting workshop. I signed up 1/2 for this reason, and 1/2 for the fact that I would be in the presence of David Alan Harvey with the blues as a backdrop. I expected to spend a lot of time learning to light dark, seedy juke joints at night so that I might take this knowledge and apply it to my weddings and/or portrait sessions. You see, as as wedding photographer who has spent way too much time looking at other wedding photographer’s work, I see a lot of trends–one of these being fancy lighting techniques which involve dragging light and or firing three or four flashes from a remote to make beautiful dancing shots or wedding party portraits. Ugh. Not my thing. I’m not saying that these type of images aren’t beautiful. They certainly are–and I thought I needed to use these techniques in my own work to make my work stronger–which was part of the appeal of this workshop. But alas, there was none of this in the workshop. We maybe spent 2 hours talking lighting and it was basic pop up flash, on camera strobe and something involving a cord and my extended arm. There was no fashion techniques or ways to make a person’s skin “glow”. However, I believe what I did learn about lighting and technique was far more powerful and caters to my style far more than a “one light workshop”ever could. Bottom line for me: I need to minimize my equipment, blend in, have fun and shoot organically. I don’t have time to set up 3 lights when shooting the streets or documenting an emotional moment at a wedding, for that matter. I would miss the moment in an attempt to make something that is already perfect, a little bit “fancier”. While I am fairly comfortable with a pop up and/or on camera strobe, what I wasn’t comfortable with was making images that might not be perfect, technically speaking. But then again–I would never call my work that. I would call it honest. And I’m comfortable with that now.
The other purpose of the workshop was to make a book. Not just any book make by My Publisher or Blurb, but a book promoted by David on www.burn.org and one that will hopefully be talked about in the photographic community. The pressure was on. We were supposed to go out on our own and interpret the Delta through our own essay or style. There of course is the Blues which is the first thing that comes to mind about the Delta, but I was flat out tired of photographing musicians on stage next to 10 other photographers—I get enough of that at home. So I explored. I never really found an essay—I think one needs a couple of weeks just to see what’s out there and establish relationships before she can delve into an essay defining a region of such rich history. But I drove from town to town, hit up bars, knocked on people’s doors and really got out of my comfort zone. After photographing Bruno’s I can truly say that there aren’t a lot of situations that I am scared to approach anymore and that in and of itself is priceless. I feel like I can approach strangers and listen to their stories and empathize with them. I feel connected to people through my art again. And this is an amazing feeling. I want to hold on to it and keep plugging along at my personal work and projects…
So without further ado, here are a few more honest, humble images from an incredible week spent in the Mississippi Delta.
One of the most frustrating things about a workshop is the fact that everybody is shooting the same thing–or even the same small town. I felt like we were descending upon these poor people of Clarksdale like paparazzi. So I left the area and headed to another town altogether. I had heard about this place called Bruno’s and that it was one of the only places that most people don’t feel comfortable photographing in because it’s full of “sketchy” people. So I grew a pair (so to speak), picked up a fifth of Hennessy and headed to Bruno’s with my hippie spirit and sense of confidence. The people hanging around Bruno’s weren’t very accepting of me at first, and making photos of them was out of the question, but after a few rounds of pool, some swills of Hennessy and a few gringo picks on the jukebox, I had made some new friends who were more than willing to have their photos taken. My afternoon at Bruno’s was actually one of the best experiences that I’ve had since I’ve been here. There is a very strong sense of segregation down here that I wanted to explore. I wanted to know if I would be accepted if I were just able to hang–no politically correct bullshit, just straight talk and a good amount of respect and empathy. It was pretty incredible how much I fit in, actually. I went to Walmart yesterday to make some prints of this shoot and think I will drop then off at Bruno’s tomorrow and say farewell to my “sketchy” new friends.
Congratulations Julie! She is absolutely beautiful. And you just look like a pro at this! I *LOVE* the last picture. Breast pump, coffee ugs, diapers in the corner...pretty accurate depiction of life with a newborn!
(02.08.2012)beautiful flat out beautiful!
(02.08.2012)So so beautiful. As a new mother myself (as of 11/12/11) I cried looking at your photos. I do not know you but felt an overwhelming happiness for you and even some jealousy! Haha... the jealousy because I wish I would have had photos during my son's birth and post birth. Absolutely stunning, my breath was taken away! Congratulations and yes, it's going to be a very bumpy ride but it is going to be a fun one!
(02.08.2012)She is perfect! Absolutely beautiful in every way! Congratulations to you and your family.
(02.08.2012)These are so beautiful and moving. Thanks Paige and Caitlin for your awesome contributions. We'll always treasure these images. And thanks, honey, for writing so eloquently our story of the birth of Ramona Moon. Love you and very thankful for our family.
(02.08.2012)Congratulations Julie, she is perfect in every single way. Very moving photographs, which I am sure you will pour over frequently in the years to come as your little girl grows up. Enjoy and soak up every second. x
(02.08.2012)Such an important lesson to learn, even if so hard, but so wonderful to learn so early on. I had a similar experience with Mia, who, as you know, is so strong and wise, knowing even how she needed to be born, as did Ramona. I'm sure she'll show you glimmers of it as she grows!
(02.08.2012)Congrats to Julie and Jesse on the gorgeous little girl...and to Ramona for being born to the coolest parents around! You guys have a beautiful family. These images are so amazing, and they perfectly capture such incredible moments! Can't wait to meet Ramona and cheers the new parents! XOXO
(02.08.2012)Good work, mama! God bless you for enduring through so much! She is precious beyond words.
(02.08.2012)Congrats Julie! She is just gorgeous! Beautiful photographs, just captured everything perfectly :)
(02.08.2012)Julie, those pictures are amazing! They brought a tear to my eye. I am so happy for you guys and your healthy precious gift! Get in touch when you have a spare minute and some extra energy ;).
(02.08.2012)Congratulations Julie! These pictures are so beautiful and bring back all the similar memories I have from when my little Aidan was born. It was the most blissful time I've ever experienced (sleep derivation and all!). I had a very similar birth experience to what you describe and just wanted to let you know that I am here if you ever need someone to talk to about it. I had such different expectations for what the whole thing would be like that I was in a bit of shock afterwards. It really helped to talk about it so if you ever need a listening ear... Enjoy this time as much as you can. It's so cheesy but it really does go by so fast. I love the photos with her cute little hat and smiles! Best, Courtney
(02.08.2012)Thank you for sharing your birth story, and these amazing photos! I can't wait to read more about your and Jesse's journey with Ramona Moon. xx
(02.08.2012)She is just so precious, so precious. And I love the shot of Jesse on the couch with all that comes with baby on the coffee table - what a REAL picture of how things are now. Enjoy <3
(02.08.2012)I had a very similar experience to you... tried very hard for natural labor for about 36 hours before being RUN into the OR for a crash c-section. I like to say that my Lily was not going to be told what to do from the very first moment. :) And I hate to tell you this, but her personality has stayed just that way! We are not in control and parenting humbles us for the moment we go into labor until.., forever. Congratulations Julie. That crazy fuzzy hat is awesome!
(02.08.2012)Just perfect. enough said...
(02.08.2012)She really is perfect! You and Jesse are very blessed. I'm so excited to see updates as she grows--these beautiful photos will soon be a faint memory, I'm sure. And I must say, her fuzzy hat KILLS me! I was laughing out loud at all of her expressions. She's just adorable.
(02.08.2012)All I can say is that your images have "emotion and reality". Keep it up.
(02.08.2012)Congratulations, Julie!!!
(02.08.2012)Congratulations, Julie and Jesse! What an incredible little person Ramona already is, so expressive and beautiful. May every step of the journey be blessed and joyful. Love and hugs.
(02.08.2012)Julie, I am totally speechless looking at these amazing photos. They are so touching and remind me of how valuable this time is. I learned the same lessons right away- even if it wasn't how you expected it to be, it was perfect. We think we want control over our life, but usually what happens is greater than we could have hoped for. Enjoy survival mode- that last picture causes a physical reaction in my body- I remember those days!! Let me know if you need anything!
(02.08.2012)Thanks for sharing this amazing time in your life! She is so adorable!
(02.08.2012)Congrats. She is one beautiful little peanut. As an experienced mama i agree with the no control. But that is part of the beauty of parentling. You really are just there to guide and disciple them as they become who they are intended to be. Enjoy discovering her.
(02.08.2012)How absolutely heartwarming! I just love your straight forward writing style. Your ability to be so honest about your expectations and plans......and your willingness and strength to report the the honest truth is touching. You tell a wonderful story of you, Jesse, and the coming of baby Ramona and there is no question that the pictures capture the emotion, detail, and reality of such a beautiful event........the joys of new life. Thanks so much for sharing!
(02.08.2012)Ramona Moon, LOVE the name. Way to carry on the family name. ;) She is just beautiful! And what an incredible birth story. I am so in awe of the whole experience. Beautiful birth and newborn photos... I loved all her little expressions. I know you have to be overwhelmed and in total bliss but I'd love to come to Denver now that I'm only an hour away and meet little Ramona. And can you please tell me where I can get that fuzzy multi-color hat in my size? ;)
(02.08.2012)oh momma. i have often looked at your blog for the love of your pictures. i've never commented until this post...i too labored at the MMC for 10 hours and was transferred to Swedish for more labor and then a cesarean (thank you Dr Hall). my son turns one next week and this is SO ON MY mind right now. i could write paragraphs. your little one is precious and i'm so glad that you are both well. if you need/want, check out: http://www.childbirth.org/section/ICAN.html
(02.08.2012)OMG! I have been following you for a while now. I have been waiting for the photos of your sweet little Ramona;) I loved reading about your journey into motherhood. I, too, just had my 3rd boy, he's 4 months. All your photos are amazing, especially the last one! That scene is very similar to mine...breast pump and all;) All my best! Enjoy it all!!!!
(02.09.2012)So precious! Your photos are so wonderful... I can tell exactly what life in your home is like right now! Thank you for sharing.
(02.09.2012)hi julie...i know we've never met but i love your work and when i first discovered you you were pregnant. congratulations on being a birthing warrior and for bringing an amazing little creature into the world. i delivered my daughter naturally and we were lucky enough to be complication free, however, i have the utmost respect for women who contend with circumstances beyond their control. the graceful articulation of ramona's birth story brought tears to my eyes. from one mama to another, welcome to the ride. it will forever change us.
(02.09.2012)I'm in love with Ramona -- so in love! But I am in awe of my daughter! Julie, your courage, strength and love carried you through such a long journey of the birthing process. I've never been so proud! And then to see you become the mama -- so motivated by your maternal instincts and overwhelming love for your baby. It was a privilege to watch this family become a threesome! Jesse's pride in his little girl is a sight to behold! I love you all!
(02.09.2012)CONGRATULATIONS JULIE ! TO YOUR NEW FAMILY - YOUR RAMONA IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!! AND ANOTHER GRATULATIONS TO THE PICTURES. THEY SHOW THE SCENES HOW IT IS - FOR REAL! AND NOT ARRANGED, SO NATURAL - THE LAST ONE SHOWES SO REALLY THE EMOTIONS, THEY COME OUT OF THIS PICTURES. AND YOUR DOG LOOKS SAD... HE LOST SOME CUDDLINGS YOU NOW HAS TO GIVE TO LITTLE RAMONA.... SO CUTE!!! LOTS OF LOVE!
(02.10.2012)I am in love with our Baby Ramona! So in love! The experience of supporting you, Julie through labor, and the first week at home with Monie was one of the greatest privileges of my life. The surprise was that it was not ALL about Monie...but it was about seeing this new family emerge. Your courage and love brought you through hours of agony. I was so impressed! Seeing Jesse HOG-WILD over his new little girl is delightful! I couldn't be more proud of the people Baby Ramona is helping you become! It has been a beautiful thing to behold. I love you all!
(02.10.2012)Congratulations and Welcome to the magical, amazing journey referred to as Parenthood. Enjoy the ride!
(02.11.2012)Julie, I have been quietly 'stalking' your website for years and following your 'journey' and amazing photographs! This is my first comment, and all I want to say is CONGRATULATIONS! Ramona is beautiful and despite the birth not quite going as planned, I'm glad she arrived safe and healthy and that you are doing well. There is much love in your family...it is visible (and palpable) through those photos!
(02.11.2012)Julie congratulations on your beautiful baby! I'm so happy for you I hope you enjoy motherhood so much :)
(02.12.2012)so so so so so beautiful!! I've been thinking about you and wondering about the birth of your precious baby. A little aquarius! Yay!! Daughters are the most wonderful gifts in the world!! Enjoy, love, peace and blessings, from a groundhog's day baby.
(02.12.2012)that was a wonderful visit giggles smiles and Love...lots of love Great writing Jewels!
(02.12.2012)Gorgeous images... precious baby! Mazel Tov to you and your family!
(02.13.2012)Wow! It is so awesome to hear your story. Child birth is so amazing. My face is full of tears and my heart is pounding. Thank you for sharing your story! I can not wait to put her in my arms. P.s. Your mom is so beautiful. I always get the warm and fuzzies when I see her!
(02.13.2012)Oh, oh my, she is stunning! I can tell she has already charmed the pants off of you and your husband. Thank you for sharing your incredible birth story. I loved reading it. It is amazing what we put ourselves through for little people we haven't even met. You are an amazing mom already. Her fuzzy newborn-ness makes me want to have another right now.
(02.13.2012)I've been waiting for this post! I love your story. Similar to my birth experience the first time. I've since had 4 c-sections. I love that you are at peace with how it turned out. You are so right, we are not in control. :) She is so precious! Perfection.
(02.13.2012)Your baby is soooo beautiful and the photos are phenomenal. You must use them to write a best-selling book!!!!!
(02.14.2012)Oh my goodness... Sobbing! I loooove these. And I adore the three of you beyond description. Congratulations brave, beautiful girl!
(02.15.2012)Congratulations to you, Jesse and Ramona!!
(02.16.2012)I just love you guys SO much!!
(02.16.2012)Oh, Julie! So beautiful, brought tears to my eyes. Congrats to you!
(02.16.2012)Soooo precious! She is going to keep on impacting your life in so many rich and wonderful ways! So much love to get and receive!
(02.20.2012)